YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
“Man is by nature a social animal”— Aristotle
Identifying your challenges is the first step that is your responsibility, but you don’t need to suffer alone nor in silence while facing your fears. Self-study to know yourself and all of your suffering and struggles as well as you can, and get help managing your particular challenges.
I realize that people have physical, genetic, economic and other unfortunate challenges, and that not everyone has the ability, access to literacy tools, yoga, and other meditation classes, apps or resources. Some people need to be literally nourished and have their very basic needs met before they can begin to use some of the tools offered in these courses. If that sounds like you, please seek help. You deserve it.
PLEASE READ THIS UPDATE TO SELF-STUDY,
NERVOUS SYSTEM REGULATION AND TRAUMATIC STRESS (2022)
There’s nothing better you can do for yourself than use any and all help you can possibly garner, in addition to everything you can possibly do for yourself alone. If you know yourself, you will know that you have limitations and may need to seek help in accepting these weaknesses and managing them. You must advocate for yourself, asking for assistance when it’s necessary. This is being responsible for yourself. If it is a challenge to reach out, please contact me @ email@example.com and I will assist you.
Nobody can be you and face your challenges, but you can get support in doing so, and in fact, it is essential to your full most authentic expression. Having community and loving support is key to overcoming addiction and other illnesses as well as loneliness and isolation, and finding balance between self-care and receiving help from others is key to wellness.
Be a Kind & Compassionate Parent
Keep in mind that making sacrifices that are hard, facing challenge to gain wellness, staying true to yourself, caring for yourself, and being healthy and strong are acts of self-love, not self-abuse. Work from and for love of yourself, not fear and hate.
Note the important difference between disciplining yourself to punish yourself or beat yourself up because you feel that you are not good enough or that you are failing to meet an unrealistic expectation, as opposed to facing challenge to grow, thrive and build more self-acceptance and self-love. To be and express the real and best you is always the goal, not punishment. You only need to give yourself tough love, not cruelty. Notice– LOVE not just the TOUGH.
Sometimes a person’s ego pushes them to face pain for pride, revenge, self-hatred, or self-loathing. Notice if that’s happening within your experience– in your body or in your mind. Take a break and maybe write about what’s happening in the here and now of your experience. See what you can learn and be compassionate– which means suffering with yourself as if you were someone you really cared about.
Also, try to notice your motives for facing fear, problems, and challenges. Be sure they are aligned with your most healthy values and aims, including balance, learning, wisdom, and wellness.
Possible Push-back and back-lash
Discipline, self-control, and sacrifice for living one’s values all oppose the immediate gratification our culture continually promotes and sells, so to live well and be authentically you very likely means you will be going against cultural and commercial norms and values. This is an added challenge and lots of people may not like seeing you transform and transcend your challenges.
Sometimes when people grow and make positive changes in their lives and start living their truth, others resent and/or resist them (usually because they are struggling to do the same but feel or are stuck– you can understand this because you have been there too– show compassion for those who suffer, including yourself!!).
You may need help and support from people who encourage your growth rather than prohibit, criticize, or sabotage it. Reach out and find it; put yourself in places that reek of positive energy and around people who are grappling with challenge.